Show It Like It Is!

A couple of weeks ago, I defined "Telling" for you with a promise to describe "Showing" in the future. Well, the future is here.

Showing, as I alluded to in my earlier post, is how writers help a reader feel as if they're in the middle of their story, seeing and experiencing the conflicts and resolutions with the protagonist. The three best ways I've found to show a scene rather than to tell it are to include dialogue, action, and details.

First, dialogue and action are more than self-expanatory, they are critical to fiction; for if your characters aren't saying or doing anything besides looking at your wonderful setting or thinking, they are stagnant. Boring, even. Your readers may even, heaven forbid, close your book and never pick it up again. So make sure, as you look over your manuscript, that your characters are doing and saying something important.

Adding descriptive details is another invaluable tool. And when I talk about details, I'm referring to those that reflect all 6+ senses: sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch, and intuition. As I was revising my novel, Missing, I was happily surprised by how much more powerful one of my less action-packed scenes became when I incorporated such details as what one of my villains was listening to on the radio and how she felt when an unexpected stranger passed by.

Now for the big question: how do you know if you're telling more than showing your story? The answer's simple. As you glimpse over each page of your manuscript, watch for these indicators:

1. Your page is filled with long, uninterrupted paragraphs.
2. There is no dialogue on the page.
3. Your characters aren't doing anything but looking or thinking.

If you have any of these factors, take a good look at your manuscript and see if you can add dialogue, action, or details. I bet you'll be able to, and your writing will be stronger because of it.

Finally, in my earlier post, I offered you two examples of "telling," so I thought you might appreciate a "showing" example, too. I recently read Heather B. Moore's novel, "Abinidi," and as I read it, I couldn't help but marvel at how well she incorporated this technique. So, here ya go, an example from the first paragraphs of "Abinidi:"

"A rat scurried across Abinidi's legs, and he tucked his feet beneath him, wrapping his arms around his knees. The air inside the prison cell had blossomed into ripe humidity, sending rivulets of perspiration down Abinidi's back. Gazing with effort at his dim surroundings . . . A thin beam of muffled light filtered through the corridor."

I've Created a "Book Store"

I've just added a sidebar link to my own bookstore (top of page). It includes direct purchase links to my recommended, "How To Write" books, my favorite fiction, and eventually my own published novels. I've often referred to these books on this post, because they've been so helpful to me throughout my writing "apprenticeship," and I thought it would help you, as my readers, find them easier, too.

An Announcement and a Contest

I know I said I'd continue with my discussion about show and tell, but this information was just too noteworthy to pass up. But don't worry, I will get back to "show" in a few days.

As for today . . .

First, my friends Nichole Giles and Cindy Beck have a book coming out in December titled, "Mormon Mishaps and Mischief." It consists of humorous anecdotes related to LDS life, and I AM ONE OF THE CONTRIBUTORS! So make sure you keep an eye out for it. It would make a fun gift.

Second, I've recently learned of a great opportunity--a contest--for all you writers out there. LDS Publisher is holding a Christmas Story contest RIGHT NOW, and the winning entries will be published in a Christmas book this year! You really ought to check this one out.

Happy reading and writing.

Show or Tell

At the Teen Writer's Conference last June, Heather Moore and I taught a class on editing and critiquing. One of the subjects we covered was Showing Vs. Telling. Since learning the difference between the two is essential to becoming a better writer, I thought I'd post a blog or two about it. Today, I'll define "Telling." Plain and simple, telling is a summary of events or a report of what happened, kind of like what an anchorman might do on the late night news. He might give us a quote or two, and he might even describe the action with a few, well-chosen words, like "raced" or "smashed," but overall, we, the audience, will not feel as if we're in the middle of the event; we'll simply know it happened. This is not what we fiction and non-fiction writers (barring news reporters) want to do.
Let me repeat: Do not tell your story. Show it. In fact, best-selling author, Janet Evanovich, said in her book, "How I Write," "Don't tell the reader anything, if you can show it instead."
True, there are a few times when telling is best, like when a character is repeating information the reader already knows to another character, or when we have to quickly update our reader about what's happened over an extended period of time--think of some of those sections in Stephenie Meyers "New Moon," shortly after Edward left. But by and large, we should try our level best to avoid telling.

Still not sure what telling is? Here are a couple of examples:

“She also volunteered lodging for my servants and the stable for my horses, but didn’t seem surprised when I told her I had neither, or offended when I told her I’d rather not talk about how I arrived. Wealth apparently brings you unquestioned acceptance.” (“My Fair Godmother,” Janette Rallinson, pg. 119-120.)


“Jeb started sending me on little errands. Run back to the kitchen for another roll, he was still hungry. Go fetch a bucket of water, this corner of the field was dry. Pull Jamie out of his class, Jeb needed to speak with him. . .”
(The Host, Stephenie Meyer, pg. 242-242.)

Until next time.